Sunday, April 11, 2010

In The Long Haul and In The Moment

I'm in this for the long haul.

No, really. I mean it this time. Forget all of the times in my life that I stopped and started... and stopped... and started... and...

You get the picture.

What's different this time?

It's hard to explain. But I'll try...

This time, I've come to the realization that there's no point in stopping. I'm no longer in denial. This is what I really want to do...

Whatever "this" is.

I've stopped in the past because...

[Long Pause]

I'm not exactly sure.

[Another Long Pause]

Maybe it's because I was too ambitious? Things weren't happening "fast enough", I got frustrated, and stopped?

Yeah, that sounds good.

[Yet Another Long Pause]

Maybe it's because I wasn't tough enough? Things were happening "too fast", I got scared, and stopped?

Yeah, that sounds good.

[Heavy Sigh]

You know what? I really don't know why I've stopped and restarted so many times in the past. And right now, I'm got a feeling that I'm on the verge of yet another epiphany...

It just doesn't matter.

Yeah, that sounds good.

And right now, I also just realized that my latest epiphany was long ago immortalized by Bill Murray's character in the movie "Meatballs". He's obviously not the first person to utter those words. If I'm not mistaken, the first person to coin that phrase was some dude writing on a wall in a cave.

It just doesn't matter.

Now, I'm not saying nothing matters. Far from it. What I'm saying is that the past doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. The reason(s) I've stopped pursuing my dreams all of those times doesn't matter. All of that baggage and guilt and regret is useless.

It just doesn't matter.

The only thing that matters is this moment.

Yeah, that sounds good.

And in the immortal words of a wise man from thousands of years ago...

"No duh".

As trite as it sounds, it needs to be repeated...

The only thing that matters is this moment.

We humans keep making the same mistakes over and over again because we forget the simple stuff. And the simplest, truest concept of all is that we only have this moment. It's the only time we can ever do anything. Try as mightily as we want, and we can only do something _now_.

The past is gone. We let it rattle around in our heads all the time, but in reality, it's gone. Letting the past drive our lives is like letting the wake drive the boat. The boat creates the wake. Not the other way around.

The most important thing is to "be present". Stay "in the moment". Be conscious of the "eternal now".

Ironically enough, I think staying in the moment is also the best way to stay on course for the long haul. It makes life more enjoyable. There's less chance of getting overwhelmed and frustrated when the past and future aren't being piled on top of the present moment.

Yeah, that sounds good.

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