Tonight's my first 8:00PM show at the Hollywood Improv. As a reminder to myself, it won't be my last... unless I take a fatalistic view about being hit by the proverbial bus. Actually, a proverbial bus wouldn't do much damage. It's the actual bus I'd be more worried about.
But aside from the bus scenario, this will not be my last time. That thought is prevalent in my head right now because I've got more than the usual level of Game Day butterflies. That's a good thing, since I've never done well without being pumped-up for a gig. However, I've got to settle it down... or channel it properly. And that's what I'm working on at the moment. That's what brought me to the blog.
For most of the morning, I wasn't focused properly. The day started off great, taking the girls to their first day of school, and focusing on their experience. It's a big day for them, and I enjoyed being with them to share that experience.
Then I started thinking about my upcoming experience...
And the thoughts about tonight were starting to feel like my old habit of doubting myself, and feeling like I don't belong. That's bullshit. After all of the time and mileage I've invested in going up to Hollywood in recent months, I'm not going to sabotage myself. Or, to put it positively, it's time to blitz... make something happen... live in the moment... and have fun.
Even though I don't hope to get hit by a bus any time soon, the thing about performing is that it's got to be in the moment, as if it's the one and only time.
And if it is the one and only time, it's best to surf the wave to the shore. Let `er rip.
Own the stage.
So, from now until I get up on stage tonight, the rest of my thoughts and feelings are going to be made with a smile on my face... an evil, maniacal smile... a blood-curdling smile...
Okay, maybe I went off on an unwanted tangent there.
Nonetheless, I'm about to hit a little milestone in my return to the comedy stage, and it sure beats the alternative. I could have been at work today, watching the cubicle walls close in around me. Instead, I'm all full of butterflies, about to drive up for a show at the Hollywood Improv.
In the words of my alma mater...