tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89198922023-06-20T21:03:51.918-07:00JOE PALEN (on the bench)Ramblings of an actor/musician/comedian on a quest to perform in Hollywood without quitting his day job
(unless somebody offers him some ungodly amount of money, of course)
(and even then, only after the check clears the bank)Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-9963503633853328312013-11-24T10:32:00.000-08:002013-11-24T10:57:33.743-08:00Free Will? Hah! (Stand-Up Comedy Urges Strike Again)Free will may be the biggest joke of all.<br />
<br />
Would you like me to explain?<br />
<br />
Well, like it or not, I'm going to.<br />
<br />
Earlier this year, I made the declaration that I _was_ a stand-up comic. I'd put it in my past. That was it. No need to keep the urges lingering.<br />
<br />
Yeah, right.<br />
<br />
When will I learn?<br />
<br />
How many times do I have to declare that I've quit doing something before I realize that as long as I'm alive, there's always the chance that I'll eventually go back to doing the thing that I've supposedly "quit"?<br />
<br />
When I declared that I was quitting stand-up, it wasn't a huge de-committal on my part. I hadn't been on stage for quite a while. So, it wasn't like anybody was going to notice.<br />
<br />
Hell... I barely noticed.<br />
<br />
The declaration was an attempt at not spending any more of my energy even thinking about the possibility of being a comedian anymore. Not on stage, anyway. I'll always be a comedian in real life...<br />
<br />
Whether I choose to be or not.<br />
<br />
Free will? Hah!<br />
<br />
This most recent declaration wasn't the all-encompassing "quitting" that I've been foolish enough to declare in the past. There was a time when I declared I was no longer going to do _anything_ in the entertainment industry.<br />
<br />
At least I'm not that foolish anymore.<br />
<br />
Several years ago, I realized that in one form or another, I'd like to keep performing indefinitely. Whether it be comedy, acting, music...<br />
<br />
I'm going to keep performing for the rest of my life.<br />
<br />
At times, I may go weeks (or months) between performances, but I'm never going to stop performing... whether it be in person, online, TV, film, or whatever venues the future might bring.<br />
<br />
The difference (or so I thought) with stand-up comedy is that I felt it was okay to make that declaration for a subset of performing, and be done with it. It wasn't the same as quitting showbiz altogether. It was just getting rid of one facet of performing. The one that I felt was best to leave in the rear view mirror.<br />
<br />
But why quit stand-up versus all of the others?<br />
<br />
Because stand-up is a different beast.<br />
<br />
It's the most difficult form of entertainment that I've pursued.<br />
<br />
While it does have _amazing_ highs, it also has equally amazing lows.<br />
<br />
Not only is it difficult to be good at it for a sustained period of time, it's even harder to be good at it in small doses. And I'd gotten to the point where I realized that the small highs I might experience now and then doing few-and-far-between gigs weren't worth the (inevitable) lows of a bad set.<br />
<br />
And then along come the urges.<br />
<br />
Months after "quitting" stand-up, I started getting the urge to do it again.<br />
<br />
Why?<br />
<br />
I have no idea.<br />
<br />
Free will? Hah!<br />
<br />
For a while, I tried stifling those urges. But then I realized it was a losing battle. And I also realized that pushing down those urges was unhealthy. It doesn't matter "why" I feel like doing stand-up again. The only thing I know is that I feel like it.<br />
<br />
So, I'm going with the flow.<br />
<br />
That might not always be the wisest choice. I mean, just because a person has an urge, that doesn't mean it should be carried-out. Drugs and alcohol come to mind. Sometimes, it's okay to fight an urge -- and find healthier alternatives for filling time...<br />
<br />
And for filling whatever void would otherwise be filled with consuming various substances.<br />
<br />
In the case of stand-up, I feel it is a healthy choice. I'm not going to destroy my liver by going onstage. In fact, diverting my attention to writing and performing could keep me from drinking.<br />
<br />
Emphasis on _could_.<br />
<br />
Stand-up could also lead me to drinking... or smoking... or any number of other vices.<br />
<br />
But I don't think so.<br />
<br />
Not this time around.<br />
<br />
Since I'm generally happy these days, I'm not feeling susceptible to the downward spiral that sometimes comes with stand-up. I'm just looking to satisfy the urges, man. Really. That's all this is.<br />
<br />
At least, I think that's all this is.<br />
<br />
Free will? Hah!<br />
<br />
Even though I haven't hit the stage (yet) since the urges hit, I've been working on material. And the act of doing that again feels good.<br />
<br />
When I'm not physically writing things down, bits are constantly swirling around in my head. Old feelings of satisfaction have returned. That satisfied feeling of coming up with material out of thin air. And it beats having those mental voids filled with political bullshit, or other so-called "important" news items.<br />
<br />
I'm filling my head with creative things instead of the externally-generated destructive things.<br />
<br />
And it's all new material.<br />
<br />
One thing I decided is that if I'm going to do stand-up again, it's not going to be to regurgitate material I've been doing off-and-on for 25+ years. It's going to be completely new. And it's going to be different -- somehow -- though I'm not exactly sure how to explain it.<br />
<br />
Let's just say that I'm not looking for funny things to say anymore. I'm just thinking about stuff that's important to me, and waiting for funny stuff to bubble up to the surface.<br />
<br />
In the past, when I went looking for funny things to say, it often ended up being "observational humor".<br />
<br />
I'm going to do my best to avoid that trap.<br />
<br />
You know, stuff like, "Didja ever notice... cats? What's up with cats?!".<br />
<br />
So, why haven't I hit the stage yet?<br />
<br />
I'm glad you asked.<br />
<br />
The reason I haven't performed (yet) is because my urge is very specific at this point. I want to perform in the Nerdist Showroom at Meltdown Comics (a.k.a., NerdMelt). If I wanted to perform just any-old-place, I could have done that by now. But I'm only interested in doing NerdMelt (at the moment).<br />
<br />
So, what am I doing about it?<br />
<br />
I'm glad you asked.<br />
<br />
Most importantly, I've compiled a tight 3-minute set.<br />
<br />
And last Monday, I drove up to Hollywood to sign-up for the NerdMelt open mic, but didn't get a spot. There's a lottery (which is typical of popular open mics), and my name wasn't drawn from the hat (actually, the bowl).<br />
<br />
No biggie. I've been through this drill before. I'll just keep going up there until I get a spot...<br />
<br />
Or until I don't have the urge to go up there anymore.<br />
<br />
And in the meantime, I'll enjoy being in the belly of the beast. Whenever I go up to Hollywood for stage time or an audition, I get a bit pumped-up... even if I don't get the gig.<br />
<br />
It is the entertainment capital of the world, after all.<br />
<br />
The stakes (and rewards) are higher in Hollywood...<br />
<br />
Even at an open mic.<br />
<br />
Which makes it worth spending hours on the road at a chance for a few minutes of stage time.<br />
<br />
At least, that's how I'm feeling about it today.<br />
<br />
As for tomorrow...<br />
<br />
Who knows?<br />
<br />
Free will? Hah!<br />
<br />
Here's what's baffling to me about all of this...<br />
<br />
I have no idea why I get the urge to drive hundreds of miles for the possibility of 3 minutes on stage... just as I have no idea why I lost the urge to do that a few years ago.<br />
<br />
When I've got the urge, it's no big deal to jump in my car and make a round trip to Hollywood. When I don't have the urge, I think it was crazy that I'd spend all of that time making the round trip(s) to Hollywood.<br />
<br />
And we think we have free will?<br />
<br />
Now _that_ is funny.Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-87335462804855241442013-01-25T11:14:00.003-08:002013-01-25T11:14:42.840-08:00I _Was_ a Stand-Up Comic [No Age Limit in Showbiz (Blessing/Curse)]I was a stand-up comic for years.<br />
<br />
Until very recently -- like, days ago -- I still put it in the present tense. I'd say I _am_ a comedian. Unable to let go. Thinking -- knowing -- that one day I'd get the urge to hit the stage as a comic again.<br />
<br />
Today, I'm finally doing what Chris Hardwick's dad was wise enough to do years ago.<br />
<br />
I'm stopping.<br />
<br />
Period.<br />
<br />
Billy Hardwick was a professional bowler. One of the best in the world. When he retired -- that was it. He stopped bowling... period. Not just for money. He stopped... period.<br />
<br />
He didn't want to taint the memory.<br />
<br />
I haven't been so wise.<br />
<br />
For years, I've had this on-again/off-again relationship with stand-up comedy.<br />
<br />
It's time to let that go.<br />
<br />
Or is it?<br />
<br />
See?<br />
<br />
Do you SEE?<br />
<br />
The problem with showbiz is that there's no time limit.<br />
<br />
That's also a good thing, depending on how you look at it -- what mood you're in -- how old you are, etc.<br />
<br />
On the one hand, I'm happy to know that at my ripe old(ish) age of 52, I could still pursue a career in stand-up if I wanted to.<br />
<br />
But that's also a curse.<br />
<br />
Because, come on. Is there really a place for a guy my age to re-start climbing the ladder in stand-up comedy?<br />
<br />
And even if there were a "place", do I really have the energy it would take to "make it"?<br />
<br />
Hell, I didn't have the energy and/or the talent to "make it" when I was in my mid-20's to early-30's. I quit my day job to pursue it, and eventually hit a dead end...<br />
<br />
A dead-end of my own making, by the way.<br />
<br />
I didn't realize it at the time, but Hollywood didn't "chew me up and spit me out" (as was often my explanation to people in the years following my return from Hollywood to "real life"). The fact is, I was unable to muster the energy to continue pursuing that proverbial "next level".<br />
<br />
So, what makes me think I could do it now?<br />
<br />
For one thing, it's not about "thinking".<br />
<br />
There's no logic behind dreams.<br />
<br />
One day, I might very well wake up with that unexplainable urge to start driving thousands of miles for a few minutes of stagetime here and there and everywhere/anywhere.<br />
<br />
But I sure hope not.<br />
<br />
It's not that I don't have _some_ urge to do comedy anymore.<br />
<br />
It's just that I've come to grips with the fact (belief?) that there's really no reason for me to do _any_ stage time -- because it's not going to lead anywhere.<br />
<br />
It's just not worth my time.<br />
<br />
I've got other/better things to do.<br />
<br />
And if I have an existential moment that says to me, "Who cares if it leads anywhere? Just do it for fun!"...<br />
<br />
I have to slap that existential moment in the face, and remind it that stand-up comedy is very often not very fun -- both in the preparation and the performing.<br />
<br />
Sure, there can be a few fun moments here and there. But those moments are hard to come by when you're only getting up on stage once in a while.<br />
<br />
And when you don't care enough to prepare.<br />
<br />
In the past couple of years, an old comedian friend of mine (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/TVFunnyman99" target="_blank">Lamont Ferguson</a>) tossed me a few bones -- and I gladly caught them -- and voraciously nibbled on the sparse pieces of meat (an amusing metaphor to me -- since the gigs where in a BBQ restaurant).<br />
<br />
I couldn't wait for another bone to be tossed my way (since I'd already stopped pursuing any bones on my own).<br />
<br />
But now I'm hoping that if/when a bone is tossed in my direction...<br />
<br />
I'll run like hell in the other direction.<br />
<br />
Or, at least, politely decline to catch it.<br />
<br />
It's not that I'm not thankful for those bones. Those gigs had their moments. That's what kept me going back.<br />
<br />
In the words of Lamont...<br />
<br />
"I've lost the will to comede".<br />
<br />
Actually, those aren't his words. He hasn't lost the will. It's just that I heard the words coming out of his mouth when he told me that some of our old comedy buddies have not caught the bones he's tossed.<br />
<br />
And now, my name can (finally) be added to that list.<br />
<br />
It's not that I'm giving up on the idea of having _any_ career in showbiz.<br />
<br />
Thanks to the Internet, I can continue to do my own video projects whenever I feel like it (and sometimes even be watched by an audience into the double-digits!).<br />
<br />
And thanks to the never-ending need for actors of all ages in other people's projects, I can continue to occasionally audition for (and occasionally get selected to do) those gigs.<br />
<br />
I can also continue to sing and play my guitar. Somehow, it's not as pathetic to see an old dude jamming an old tune as it is to see an old dude jamming on an old joke.<br />
<br />
In fact, old dudes jamming old tunes can be incredible.<br />
<br />
I once went to a blues club in Chicago (not the House of Blues, by the way -- an actual, old, sweaty-walled blues club) -- and was blown away by the old guys on stage -- easily in their 80's. They were amazing. "Pathetic" is the last word that comes to mind. As I recall them in this present moment, the first word that comes to mind is "inspirational".<br />
<br />
So, it's not totally a bad thing that there's no age limit in showbiz.<br />
<br />
You might even say it's a blessing and a curse.<br />
<br />
(Did you read the title of this post?)<br />
<br />
It's just, well... it's about choice.<br />
<br />
What things are okay to pursue in your golden years, and what things are best left in your scrapbook?<br />
<br />
Speaking of my scrapbook...<br />
<br />
I was once a football player. It's been a long time since the thought of pursuing football crossed my mind.<br />
<br />
The cool thing about football is that it eventually leaves you no choice.<br />
<br />
You _must_ stop.<br />
<br />
That may seem like a bad thing to lovers of choice -- but sometimes, it nice to have your choices limited. It can help you focus on other things -- things you're more capable of actually accomplishing (and enjoying).<br />
<br />
Things that don't make you look (and feel) pathetic.<br />
<br />
It's not that athletes know exactly when to quit. Many hold on for "too long". But eventually, time runs out -- and they find something else to do with their lives.<br />
<br />
You're not likely to see a 52-year-old playing in the NFL.<br />
<br />
But you can still see a 52-year-old getting up on stage to do comedy in a BBQ restaurant now and then.<br />
<br />
Hopefully, not _this_ 52-year-old.Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-9609722529451922092012-11-30T15:30:00.002-08:002012-11-30T15:55:48.451-08:00Audition: "Russian Type"I'm not Russian. And if I were left with nothing but my own opinion, I also would never have considered myself as a "Russian Type". But thanks to my Facebook friends (who've commented on my look since I've grown a beard)...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://palen.com/joe/actor/images/Joe_Palen.headshot.2012_02_19.thumbnail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://palen.com/joe/actor/images/Joe_Palen.headshot.2012_02_19.thumbnail.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
I now consider myself to look like a Russian.<br />
<br />
Why am I thanking my Facebook friends for that?<br />
<br />
Because I recently submitted myself for a role in a commercial where they were looking for a "Russian Type"...<br />
<br />
And I got called in for an audition.<br />
<br />
It's the first time I've gone up to Hollywood for an audition in a year. Exactly a year, as a matter of fact. I just found that out when I checked my calendar today to answer the question, "How long has it been since I went up for an audition in Hollywood". The answer was one year...<br />
<br />
To the day.<br />
<br />
That bit of numerical freakiness aside...<br />
<br />
Did I mention that I got called in for a role where they were looking for a "Russian Type"?<br />
<br />
I've submitted myself to a number of roles in the past year where they were looking for guys in my age range...<br />
<br />
And I didn't get called in.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But then I got called in for a "Russian Type"?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The reason I'm making such a big deal out of this is because I think I've done a pretty decent job over the years of knowing my "type" -- based on the results of the stuff I've submitted myself for. That is, I've submitted myself to a number of roles over the years, and have been called-in for a decent percentage of those submissions. That would indicate that I've got a handle on my "type", right?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I suppose not knowing that I looked Russian doesn't mean I'm totally clueless about my "type". It just means...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I wasn't seeing _every_ type.</div>
<br />
So, maybe it's a good thing to listen to other people sometimes. Not all the time, mind you. That would be enough to drive you crazy. But there are some good observations coming from outside of your own skull that may lead you places you wouldn't have thought to go on your own.<br />
<br />
At this point, you may be thinking...<br />
<br />
Looking like a Russian is one thing. Sounding like one is another thing altogether.<br />
<br />
[CROWD: "SOUNDING LIKE ONE IS ANOTHER THING!"]<br />
<br />
Point taken. Just because I now look Russian, that doesn't mean I automatically sound like one. The beard doesn't come with magical powers. Not that I'm aware of, anyway.<br />
<br />
Which brings me back to your point...<br />
<br />
Can I do a Russian accent?<br />
<br />
Well, I may not be at the level of Meryl Streep...<br />
<br />
Or of an actual Russian...<br />
<br />
But I can do something in the vicinity of a Russian accent.<br />
<br />
And for commercials, I figure "in the vicinity" is good enough to be in the room.<br />
<br />
Speaking of actual Russians...<br />
<br />
When I was waiting to audition yesterday, I overheard a few of the other actors talking to each other...<br />
<br />
And they were actually from Russia (or some other Eastern European countries).<br />
<br />
Either that, or they were method actors not wanting to break character.<br />
<br />
At first, that did throw me off a little bit.<br />
<br />
Not much... but definitely a bit.<br />
<br />
It shouldn't have surprised me -- I just hadn't thought about who else would be waiting in the hallway. So when I was sitting there, doing my best to relax and wait my turn, it was just a bit off-putting to know that the director would be observing me immediately after a number of actors who weren't "doing" an accent.<br />
<br />
Then I reminded myself that there are many times when people are hired to "do" accents. And in each case, I'm pretty sure there were actors from the actual country with the actual accent that auditioned for the part.<br />
<br />
"It's not all about whether or not your accent is real", said the little voice in my head. "It's about whether or not you're the best one for the role."<br />
<br />
Duh.<br />
<br />
That's always the case, isn't it? Unless, of course, your mom's the Producer.<br />
<br />
Anyway...<br />
<br />
Believe it or not, whether or not I get the job is beside the point.<br />
<br />
The main point (see "the thing I enjoyed the most") about yesterday was the risk-taking involved.<br />
<br />
I took my not-quite-Meryl-Streep-quality Russian accent into a casting office in Hollywood, and let 'er rip. Win or lose, I took the risk. I put myself out there.<br />
<br />
And it felt good.<br />
<br />
In the end, I think that's mostly what this is all about...<br />
<br />
Taking risks.<br />
<br />
(And feeling good doesn't hurt, either.)Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-55754510049806024962012-05-11T10:02:00.000-07:002012-05-11T10:11:31.299-07:00Smoothest Audition EverThis morning, I had an audition. That's news in itself. I don't get out much. That's partly because of the nature of the biz, and partly because I've been a lot more selective in the past couple of years.<br />
<br />
But the rarity of having an audition is not the main reason I'm writing.<br />
<br />
I'm writing because this morning was the smoothest audition ever.<br />
<br />
It should always be this easy.<br />
<br />
This is not a humble brag.<br />
<br />
No, seriously.<br />
<br />
It isn't.<br />
<br />
The main ingredients for this morning's "smoothest audition ever" had nothing to do with me.<br />
<br />
The number one ingredient that pushed this one over the top was the fact that I was the only actor there. I'm talking about nobody in the parking lot, hallways, or waiting room.<br />
<br />
Nobody.<br />
<br />
Tumbleweed City.<br />
<br />
It's normal to be the only one in the audition room. But it's also normal to have actors stacked-up waiting to go into the room.<br />
<br />
This morning, it was just me and the friendly man running the auditions.<br />
<br />
And that's the second ingredient to making this the smoothest audition ever.<br />
<br />
The friendly man.<br />
<br />
It's not that I've never dealt with a friendly person running an audition. There have been plenty of "warm rooms" in the past several years. But I don't take it for granted.<br />
<br />
Thanks, Royce!<br />
<br />
(That's the name of the friendly man, in case you hadn't guessed.)<br />
<br />
The final ingredient is the fact that I've become more relaxed over the years. Not 100% limp & lifeless, mind you. Just... in a healthy state of relaxation -- with a slight edge (for good measure).<br />
<br />
So, there you have it. The list of ingredients for the smoothest audition ever.<br />
<br />
With any luck, it won't take another six or seven years to repeat this experience.<br />
<br />
<br />Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-12753319873161852012012-02-09T06:16:00.001-08:002012-02-09T07:36:27.709-08:00To Pursue, or Not To Pursue?I don't tend to pursue any extracurricular activities on a daily basis. Not for long, anyway.<div><br /></div><div>Is that wrong?</div><div><br /></div><div>Rather than labeling it right or wrong, I'm just going to say that it is what it is.</div><div><br /></div><div>It is who I am.</div><div><br /></div><div>I do things in spurts. To deny this is to deny myself.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm not going to force myself to put forth daily effort on anything.</div><div><br /></div><div>That's not to say I've never forced myself. I have. And the way I see it now, that was a mistake.</div><div><br /></div><div>When I've forced myself, it hasn't made me happy.</div><div><br /></div><div>Forcing myself to do things is... well... a chore. That's pretty much the definition of a chore. It's something you don't want to do. You're forced to do it. It doesn't matter if you're being forced by someone else, or by yourself. If you're doing what you don't want to do, it's a chore.</div><div><br /></div><div>And who in their right mind would pursue a chore?</div><div><br /></div><div>Isn't happiness the whole point of pursuing things? And if it isn't the point, then I don't see the point.</div><div><br /></div><div>We pursue things because we're not satisfied. We want more. More stuff. More experiences. More... fill-in-the-blank.</div><div><br /></div><div>We want more.</div><div><br /></div><div>If we didn't want more fill-in-the-blank, we wouldn't be pursuing more fill-in-the-blank. We'd be content with the fill-in-the-blank that we have.</div><div><br /></div><div>One of my problems, and likely the problem of many others, is that I do want more fill-in-the-blank, but I'm not compelled to take action. At least, not on a regular basis.</div><div><br /></div><div>In itself, that's not a problem. I mean, not being compelled. So what if I'm not compelled?</div><div><br /></div><div>The problem comes when I'm not compelled to do something, and I hear this little voice in my head telling me that I need to be working harder.</div><div><br /></div><div>Who said that?</div><div><br /></div><div>Who is that little voice?</div><div><br /></div><div>Joe [shaking fist at sky]: Curse you, little voice!!</div><div><br /></div><div>I have my moments. There are times when I'm compelled to take action every day. And guess what? During those times, I take action every day. And it feels great. It's not a chore.</div><div><br /></div><div>But most of the time...</div><div><br /></div><div>Spurts.</div><div><br /></div><div>Which brings me back to my first point...</div><div><br /></div><div>That's who I am.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have to be happy with whatever my spurty action gets me. Well, I don't "have to" be. But I should be. Otherwise, it's a losing battle. If I'm not happy with the results of my spurty pursuits, then I'll never be happy.</div><div><br /></div><div>How's that?</div><div><br /></div><div>Let me explain.</div><div><br /></div><div>Oh, please... let me explain!</div><div><br /></div><div>I see two choices...</div><div><br /></div><div>1. Force myself to work my ass off on a daily basis, whether I'm compelled or not.</div><div><br /></div><div><div>2. Take action when I feel like taking action (see "Spurts").</div><br class="Apple-interchange-newline"></div><div>Choice #1 is a chore. It's not who I am. It may give me better odds of getting to the mountaintop, but at what cost? And so what if I get to the mountaintop? What makes me think I'll be happy "up there" when the climb has been such a chore? And during the climb, I'm miserable because I've basically taken on another day job. I'm doing the current day job that I'd rather not be doing, and another day job that I'd rather not be doing in my "spare time" (which is no longer spare time).</div><div><br /></div><div>Choice #2 is who I am. It may not get me to the mountaintop, but it will continue to get me a few things here and there. And along the way, I'm being myself. I have one day job, and the extra thing(s) that I'm compelled to do. And when I'm not compelled, I do nothing... except kick back and enjoy where I am... here and now. And if lightning strikes, and I do happen to wander my way up to the mountaintop, I'll arrive in a happy frame of mind, ready to enjoy the next climb. Or stop climbing. Whatever I'm compelled to do.</div><div><br /></div><div>This isn't an exercise in figuring out what I want to do. It's an exercise in doing what I'm compelled to do... since I was compelled to write this morning.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's also an exercise in communicating my choice... which is why I'm blogging instead of writing in my personal Journal.</div><div><br /></div><div>This is not an exercise in telling you what to do. Your choice is up to you (see "duh").</div><div><br /></div><div>My choice has already been made. I've made the mistake of choosing #1 at various points throughout my life. Now I chose #2.</div><div><br /></div><div>Hopefully, I'll be wise enough to remember my choice, and not drift back into the trap of #1.</div>Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-5949517961942491932011-05-31T16:12:00.000-07:002011-05-31T16:59:24.165-07:00NO MORE OPEN CALLS – NO, REALLY – I MEAN IT THIS TIME<p class="MsoNormal">I should have stuck with my "NO OPEN CALL" rule.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Why did I decide to break my own rule? Because it was my agent that told me about it. Even though it was an open call, people were being told about it by their agents, so I figured it would be different from the normal open call.</p><p class="MsoNormal">It wasn't.</p><p class="MsoNormal">At today's audition, it took over 2 hours to be seen (actually, that's short by open call standards)... and when I was seen, they didn't want to see me for the role I'd prepared for. That's part of the biz, right? But I think it's mainly part of the biz when you go to open calls.</p><p class="MsoNormal">It may sometimes be part of the biz when you're called in based on your headshot -- but not as often.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Not if you look like your headshot -- which I do. If they've seen your headshot, glanced at your resume, and decide to call you in for an audition -- chances are, they'll read you for the part you've prepared for. When you're called in for an audition, somebody has picked you from the bunch based on your look. You've at least jumped one hurdle to get into the room.</p><p class="MsoNormal">They want you -- specifically you -- to be there, for a reason.</p><p class="MsoNormal">But for this audition, even though my agent told me about it, the folks making the film didn't see my headshot ahead of time. Had they seen it, they probably would not have called me in. At least, not for the role I spent all that time preparing for.</p><p class="MsoNormal">It's not just a "me" thing. They didn't see any of our headshots ahead of time. So many (maybe most?) of us would not have been called in for auditions had the production company filtered through our headshots ahead of time -- or had our agents only been asked to send a small sampling of actors specifically selected for the various roles.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Don't get me wrong. For some people, open calls are fine. And there was a time when I had no problem with them, either. They're part of paying your dues.</p><p class="MsoNormal">So, I'm not making a judgement call on open calls in general.</p><p class="MsoNormal">This is a personal choice arrived at after years of paying my dues.. and re-paying them... in various areas of the entertainment industry. My last straw (or should I say, second to last straw?) was when I auditioned for "Last Comic Standing" (2006). While I don't regret doing it, I swore that was my last open call. And it was...</p><p class="MsoNormal">Until today.</p><p class="MsoNormal">So, today I'm reiterating my rule.</p><p class="MsoNormal">I spent time preparing for a role that they didn't see me for, and the role they did have me read for is a role that I wasn't interested in reading for when I checked the list of roles for my type. When I was deciding whether or not to go to today's open call, I specifically decided to read for one of the roles that was more interesting -- and would be worth my time. We're talking about an Ultra Low Budget project, so for me, it has to be a role of a certain size and/or interest to even think about getting involved.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes">Look -- I know I'm not in the big leagues. So, I'm not saying I'm above certain kinds of work. Oh, wait. Yes I am. I don't work for sandwiches... anymore. I don't work for free... anymore. And I'm not interested in working as an extra, or having one or two lines, on an Ultra Low Budget project.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>What's the point of that?</p><p class="MsoNormal">To get experience?</p><p class="MsoNormal">Just to work?</p><p class="MsoNormal">I've worked in the entertainment industry for years in one capacity or another.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> I've got experience. I know how to work. And I'm a lot more selective about what I'm willing to leave the house to work on these days.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes">For one thing, I don't even need to leave the house to work these days.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>Without leaving my apartment, I'm working 5 days a week a week making YouTube videos... all on my own... with maybe as much chance of getting seen as a minor role in a ULB film.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And even if what I'm doing on my own doesn't amount to something, at least it's mine -- and I don't have to audition for it.</p><p class="MsoNormal">What really left the bad taste in my mouth after the whole process was complete is that they didn't even bother to put me on tape.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The reason I know some people were getting put on tape is because we could hear them auditioning as we were waiting in line.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>They'd rehearse, then they'd get put on tape.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Now, I know that it may just have been that they were only putting certain roles on tape.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I'm not "supposed to" second guess what they're doing.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>They might very well just be making notes for the tiny roles, and not putting them on tape, even when they like the actor.</p><p class="MsoNormal">But... well... the bottom line to all of this is that I'm going back to the personal rule I'd set for myself after auditioning for Last Comic Standing.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No open calls.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Period.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Even if my agent tells me about it.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>An open call is still an open call.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Getting cast on a project is hard enough, even when the Director/CastingDirector/Producer call you in because your headshot matches a look they're going for.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Walking in cold... sucks.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Plain and simple.</p><p class="MsoNormal">It reminded me of those comedy gigs where the audience doesn't know there's going to be a comedy show. Performing is hard enough when people want you to be there. It's miserable when they don't.</p><p class="MsoNormal">And I didn't exactly feel like I was wanted there today.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I had the feeling that the small part they had me read for was simply going through the motions.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I could be wrong, but that's how it felt.</p><p class="MsoNormal">In any event, whether I'm right or wrong about how they felt, I know how I feel... and it ain't good.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Not heartbroken or anything.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But seriously... it took almost 4 hours of my day for a local San Diego audition (counting getting dressed and drive time) -- and that's not counting the hours of preparation time over the past couple of days.</p><p class="MsoNormal">And it turned out to be for a role I'm not right for -- that I didn't even get to read for.</p><p class="MsoNormal">It feels like I just went to LA... for one of those freakin' comedy hell gigs at a sports bar -- which, coincidentally, is where the audition was held.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In a sports bar.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Ah, the ironies of life.</p><p class="MsoNormal">I don't go out of my way anymore to do sports bar comedy gigs in LA or Orange County in front of people who are playing pool and/or watching one of the 37 flatscreen TV's -- but I end up back in a sports bar in San Diego auditioning for somebody who might as well have been playing pool or watching one of the flatscreens.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Will I ever learn?</p><p class="MsoNormal">Probably not.</p><p class="MsoNormal">I'll wait a while and forget how much this sucked.</p><p class="MsoNormal">WAIT... BZZZT!<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Timeout!!</p><p class="MsoNormal">That's setting myself up for defeat.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I call a personal foul on myself!</p><p class="MsoNormal">Replay...</p><p class="MsoNormal">I am NOT going to do ANY more OPEN CALLS.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>PERIOD.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-58105299612905482702011-03-18T10:00:00.000-07:002011-03-20T10:07:44.063-07:00Fates Worse Than Obscurity: Rebecca BlackI may get banned from Hollywood for saying this, but here goes...<div><br /></div><div>There are fates worse than obscurity.</div><div><br /></div><div>Case in point: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Rebecca</span> Black.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you don't know who or what I'm talking about... Google it.</div><div><br /></div><div>In a nutshell, she's in a music video that's gone viral.</div><div><br /></div><div>Actually, "viral" is an understatement. It's garnered so much attention on the Internet this past week that it's now also being covered by the mainstream media. We're not talking run-of-the-mill viral here. We're talking mega-viral. Every aspiring entertainer's dream, right?</div><div><br /></div><div>Wrong.</div><div><br /></div><div>Not for this aspiring entertainer, anyway.</div><div><br /></div><div>Why am I not envious of Rebecca Black?</div><div><br /></div><div>Much of the attention she's getting isn't good. Some are saying she's done the worst song/video ever. Rolling Stone called it an "unintentional parody of modern pop".</div><div><br /></div><div>And it gets worse from there.</div><div><br /></div><div>Numerous comments on YouTube and Twitter have gone way too far, saying things like "cut yourself" and "go die".</div><div><br /></div><div>Obviously much more than she (and her mom) bargained for.</div><div><br /></div><div>It reminds me of an old joke about wanting something "in the worst way", and then getting that thing...</div><div><br /></div><div>In the worst way.</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, this is nothing new. A lot of people have achieved fame "in the worst way".</div><div><br /></div><div>"Jersey Shore" anyone?</div><div><br /></div><div>I'll refrain from making an exhaustive list. There's not enough time in the day for that.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Rebecca</span> is just the latest in a long line of people who've achieved fame for something other than their talent. The sad thing is, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Rebecca</span> actually does appear to have some talent. I just heard her sing (without Auto-Tune) on "Good Morning America", and I think she has a decent voice. At the very least, her normal voice is a lot more pleasing than the Auto-Tuned version from the video.</div><div><br /></div><div>But the sad truth is, her talent would never have ever gotten her the huge amount of attention she's getting from the silly song/video that's swept the Internet.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, what happens now?</div><div><br /></div><div>There's no way of knowing how all of this will pan out for her. She may actually go on to have a "normal" career in the entertainment industry (as if anything about showbiz can be deemed "normal"?). But for now, this week's latest example of "instant fame" is going into my files under the heading...</div><div><br /></div><div>"Fates worse than obscurity."</div>Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-68026878078380868232011-03-11T12:25:00.001-08:002011-03-11T13:08:31.721-08:00Technology, Showbiz, and The American Dream<p class="MsoNormal">Back in 1989, I quit my day job to focus on pursuing a career as a stand-up comedian.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I'd been doing comedy for a few years, and had become obsessed.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I figured the only way to really give it a shot was to quit my day job.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And it was a good job, too.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> A technology-based job. </span>The kind of job where you need an education and a resume and...</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The ability to sit in a cubicle for 8 hours a day.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">While I did possess that ability, it wasn’t satisfying me.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In fact, it was sucking the life out of me.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So I ventured out of my cubicle, and into the Bohemian lifestyle of stand-up comedy.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It was a risk, but it was something I had to do.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I was 29 years old, and not getting any younger.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I really enjoy live performances.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>There's nothing like the immediacy of a live show.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And I'd gotten to the point where I was able to hold the attention of an audience for 30 minutes, which led to my first full-fledged comedy booking for an entire week at a club in Phoenix. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">They flew me out, put me up in a hotel room near the club... and gave me by biggest paycheck to date.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I got to do 30 minutes in the middle of each show... a sweet spot.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You don’t have to warm up the crowd, and don’t have the pressure of closing the show.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I did six shows that week... three hours of stage time... in 4 days.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>People even asked for my autograph at the end of the night.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It was awesome... except for one thing...<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I don't like to travel.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now, I don't mind it now and then, but it's not something I want to do all that often.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Not only is there the inconvenience of airports, taxis, packing, unpacking, never sleeping in your own bed... but when you're doing stand-up, most of the day is free time.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Don’t get me wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I like free time.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But it drove me crazy being away from home with nothing to do.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I suppose I could have played tourist, but I wasn’t exactly rolling in dough.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The money I made on the road was going to come in real handy paying rent and bills.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I supposed if I'd been more disciplined, I could have been writing all day... but that's not the way I liked spending my day.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Comedy ideas have always been things that hit me while I'm living my life.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Funny stuff happens, I jot down a note, and expand on it later.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I can't just sit down 8 hours a day and write jokes.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And being totally immersed in the airport, hotel, and comedy club, I began to see why so many comedians had so many jokes about those things.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>They had no other life to draw from.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’d finally achieved one of my goals as a comic, and I didn’t like it.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The stage time was awesome, but I wasn't in the mood to be away from home 42 weeks a year.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Unfortunately, that's the only way to make money as a comedian.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You can get stage time in Hollywood, but you aren't going to make any money there.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>A free drink or a sandwich... maybe.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>A few bucks here and there... if you're really lucky.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But to make a living as a comic, you have to hit the road.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So, after about 3 years of focusing on comedy, I was ready to go back to the land of the cubicle.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>More importantly... the land of the steady paycheck.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It may have been a mind-numbing experience at times, but it was a hell of a lot easier to eat and pay the rent doing my technology-based job from the comfy confines of a cubicle.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And when I wasn't in my cubicle, I could spend the rest of my time on my couch.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Cubicle... couch... cubicle... couch...<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I was back to living the American Dream...<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Kind of.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Problem was, I kept feeling like something was missing.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">In the 20 years since I quit the 100% Bohemian lifestyle of stand-up comedy, I've hit the stage a few times here and there. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I get the urge, hit the stage, get it out of my system, and go back to my couch.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I even started "pursuing" it again several years ago -- hitting stages in Hollywood and Orange County every week -- until it occurred to me that reality hadn't changed.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span>You can't make a living as a stand-up comic without going on the road.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Then there was a stretch of time in the late 1990's to early 2000's where I added some more mileage to my car doing the singer-songwriter thing at coffeehouses, and hauling DJ equipment around for some parties and festivals. Again, I liked the live performances, but got tired of getting up off my butt a couple times a week to drive around town for a little bit of stage time.</p><p class="MsoNormal">For the past 5 years, I've been pursuing a career as an actor.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> T</span>here were times in that first year of auditioning that I was going up to LA once or twice a week.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Living in San Diego, working a day job, driving the kids to and from school, and going to LA once or twice a week, well... I’d count that as “paying my dues”... again.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I don’t drive to LA nearly as much as I did that first year. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The first year I was auditioning in LA, I drove up there for the chance of getting a role in something that would pay a hundred bucks.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I even submitted myself for roles that would only "pay" you in food... plus the promise of "credit" and "copy". <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Those last two are hilarious.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>You invest several hours of your time driving to and from an audition -- sometimes, if you're lucky, you get a "call-back"... meaning that you get to drive several more hours for another audition... for the same role -- and your "pay" on the back-end is "credit" and "copy"!<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">In case you don't know... "credit" means they'll put your name in the on-screen credits of the film/show, and "copy" means they'll give you a copy of the film/show... so you can add it to your "reel" (the equivalent of a video resume).<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Once I added up all of the hours and gas money and vehicle wear-and-tear... I realized that even if I were lucky enough to be cast in a role (which, by the way, would mean more time invested, and more gas money, and more vehicle wear-and-tear), I would be losing time and money indefinitely... all with the promise of a carrot-dangling prize of someday making a lot more money than any human deserves to make.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">But I digress... or do I?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Isn't this the point?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>What is the point?<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The point is, while I love performing, I've gotten tired of spending hundreds of hours, driving thousands of miles, and spending thousands of dollars... at the off chance that I might get to say 2 lines in a film or TV project.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And on the _really_ off chance that I’ll be making obscene amounts of money someday.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I haven't totally given up on that, mind you.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But I'm much more selective now.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I'll only submit myself to stuff that's either very visible, or that's going to pay a decent amount of money if I get it. And in the years since I quit my day job in 1989, I've found a balance between my techie day job and my desire to do something on-the-side.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Mainly, I’m getting my performing fix on my own terms -- and feeling much better about myself in the process -- by doing daily YouTube videos. I'm personally rewarded by creating a new project every day. Technology is finally allowing me to get rewards greater than the level of energy I’m exerting.</p><p class="MsoNormal">It may not be paying me anything (yet), but it's also not putting any miles on my car. And since I'm not investing all of that extra time and money, it's kind of like making money... but not spending it.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Most importantly, I don't need anybody's permission to do it. I'm getting cast in every role I'm up for... every day. I'm "putting myself out there" more than I ever did by driving all around Southern California performing for a handful of people here and there over the past 20 years. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Thanks to technology, I've found my own place in the entertainment industry... without ever leaving my apartment.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Now _that_ is my idea of "The American Dream".</p>Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-46274112647413723322011-03-03T10:22:00.000-08:002011-03-03T10:24:13.969-08:00Justifying and Rationalizing<p class="MsoNormal">Why do we spend so much time justifying and rationalizing?</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">We can justify any decision we make.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We can find other people who agree with our decision.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We can find famous quotes to support our decision, no matter what we choose to do...<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">"Turn the other cheek!"<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">"An eye for an eye!"<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">For every adage, there's an equal and opposite adage.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Then why do we spend so much time justifying and rationalizing?<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It seems like a huge waste of time, given the fact that most things we do are not "right" or "wrong".<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>They just _are_.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Note that I said "most" things.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>There are exceptions, of course.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Most people would agree that it's wrong to kill, or to steal.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I'm not talking about those kinds of things.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I'm talking about questions like, "Should I be an engineer?”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Yes?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>There's no morally right or wrong answer... unless you're morally opposed to engineering.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And you can find people to give you advice and support for both the "yes" and "no" decision.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">SO...<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Why do we spend so much time justifying and rationalizing?<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Excuse me while I go endlessly ponder the answer(s).<o:p></o:p></p>Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-38576438743706848142010-12-05T10:12:00.000-08:002010-12-05T10:19:14.660-08:00USC vs. UCLA -- A Bedtime Story<div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; background-color: transparent; "><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left;margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "></p><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; background-color: transparent; "><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left;margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Last night was the USC vs. UCLA football game.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">The 80th meeting in one of the most storied rivalries in college football.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I fell asleep.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I went to USC.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I played at USC.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Well, I sat on the bench at USC.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">The point is, USC football is one of the few things I get passionate about.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I fell asleep.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s not that I don’t care anymore.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Or that I don’t care because we’re on probation this year.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">And yes... I said “we”.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It may be 30 years since I wore the uniform, but I still say “we”.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, yes... I still care.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I care enough to say “we”.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I care enough to have watched every game this year.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">And last week, during the game against Notre Dame, our other big rival...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I did _not_ fall asleep.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I stayed awake during every heart-pounding, frustrating moment.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">At one point, I even screamed at the top of my lungs...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Scaring the crap out of my daughters...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">And probably any neighbors not tuned into the game...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Which was likely most of them...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Since USC and Notre Dame were not exactly “in the hunt” this year.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">In some years, everybody who cares about football knows when USC and Notre Dame are playing.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">This year, not so much.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">But that game still got my blood pumping.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">And my daughters running for cover.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">And the neighbors dialing 911.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">After we lost to Notre Dame, I was numb.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was depressed.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe not clinically depressed...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Which would have been an improvement, actually...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because then I would have had some medication at my disposal.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Instead, I had to resort to philosophy.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I tried telling myself “it’s only game”.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Key word... “tried”.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Problem is, I don’t believe that.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It goes much deeper than that.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s something...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hard to describe.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">When you care so much about something, it defies description.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">My ex-wife used to ask, “Why do you love me?”.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Why?</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Who can answer that question?</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I love you because... I love you.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">You might even come up with a list of things you like about the person you love, but how can you say “why” you love them?</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Or why you stop loving them?</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">When my wife decided to end our marriage, I asked her, “Why do you want to get divorced?”.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Her reply...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I’m as surprised as you.”</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Not only is that a unique answer for ending a relationship...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It pretty much sums up what I’ve been saying.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">We don’t know why we love somebody... or stop loving somebody.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s the same with sports.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Or anything else you’re passionate about.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Why do you love to...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">fill-in-the-blank?</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">You just do.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s the way it is.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s part of who you are.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">For you, it’s part of the meaning of life.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe you couldn’t care less about sports...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">And by the way, did you notice I said “_couldn’t_ care less”?</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Could _not_ care less.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">When you don’t care about something, you could _not_ care less, right?</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">But a lot of people say... “I could care less”.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I _could_ care less.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">When they really mean, I could _not_ care less.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">And whenever I hear somebody say “I could care less”...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It bugs the crap out of me.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Why?</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t know.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It just does.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s just like anything else that I do or don’t care about.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ask me why...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t know.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">All I do know is that when I’m emotionally involved in a game, and somebody says... “it’s just a game”...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s insulting.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Even if you couldn’t care less about sports, surely there’s something you’re passionate about...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">(And stop calling me Shirley.)</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Think of how you would feel if somebody told you that one of the most important things in your life wasn’t all that important...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">“It’s just your kids.”</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">How would that make you feel?</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It doesn’t matter if it’s sports, or whatever it is...</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">If it’s important to you... it’s important.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Period.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">End of story.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, last night, during the 80th meeting in one of the most storied rivalries in college football... even though it meant “nothing” as far as bowl games and national championships and any other measure of a season’s success... it meant something to me... and to the players and coaches... and to the people at the game... and the fans watching the game on TV... it still meant something... it wasn’t “just a game”.</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, then... why did I fall asleep?</span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></span></p><p id="internal-source-marker_0.3289646429475397" style="text-align: left; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; "><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have no idea.</span></span></span></span></p><p></p></div><p></p></div>Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-32142759091896891712010-04-13T13:24:00.000-07:002010-04-13T14:43:07.106-07:00Rattling Thoughts (After Falling Off The Mountaintop)Yesterday, somebody deleted a comment I posted on Facebook. Fine. Everybody's got their sensitivities. And even though I thought my comment was an amusing, harmless little joke, the person who deleted it obviously disagreed. To make myself feel a little better, I proceeded to delete that person as a "friend".<br /><br />Oh, if only things were so simple IRL (that's "in real life", in case you didn't know).<br /><br />What's upsetting me more than the deleted comment is that fact that this garbage is still rattling around in my brain a day later.<br /><br />I have better things to do with my thoughts.<br /><br />I'm old enough to know you can't please everybody. No matter what you say, somebody's not going to like it.<br /><br />Then why is this tiny event continuing to pop up in my head?<br /><br />At this point, it may be the like the exercise of trying not to picture a purple elephant. The more you think "don't picture the purple elephant", the more you picture the purple elephant.<br /><br />So, the more I'm trying to force myself to forget about it, the more I'm thinking about it.<br /><br />Whatever the reason, I know this will drift out of my skull soon enough. What I'm hoping is that a little blog-rant on the topic will make it go away sooner.<br /><br />This little social mis-interation is really no big deal in the whole scheme of things. Especially since I've been feeling so good about life lately. I've been "in the moment" a lot... not letting the past drive me, and not worrying about the future. The thought that we are all "pure consciousness" (planted in my head by another Facebook friend) has been making me walk lighter, and the fact that all humans on the planet are constantly participating in the creation of the world's events in "the eternal now" has been a prevalent thought and feeling.<br /><br />How can I be floating along in a state of wonder and bliss, only to be thwarted by a deleted Facebook comment?<br /><br />Maybe it's because I wasn't being confronted with anything. So even the simplest little annoyance, in contrast to joy and wonderment, has gotten blown out of proportion?<br /><br />Whatever the reason, I'm feeling better now... as planned. Writing helps. I need to do this more often. Only when I do it more often, I want to have more important and positive things to write about.<br /><br />That's the plan... next time... positive stuff.<br /><br />[Therapy session complete.]Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-71583363797427379442010-04-11T10:26:00.000-07:002010-04-11T11:05:44.308-07:00In The Long Haul and In The MomentI'm in this for the long haul.<br /><br />No, really. I mean it this time. Forget all of the times in my life that I stopped and started... and stopped... and started... and...<br /><br />You get the picture.<br /><br />What's different this time?<br /><br />It's hard to explain. But I'll try...<br /><br />This time, I've come to the realization that there's no point in stopping. I'm no longer in denial. This is what I really want to do...<br /><br />Whatever "this" is.<br /><br />I've stopped in the past because...<br /><br />[Long Pause]<br /><br />I'm not exactly sure.<br /><br />[Another Long Pause]<br /><br />Maybe it's because I was too ambitious? Things weren't happening "fast enough", I got frustrated, and stopped?<br /><br />Yeah, that sounds good.<br /><br />[Yet Another Long Pause]<br /><br />Maybe it's because I wasn't tough enough? Things were happening "too fast", I got scared, and stopped?<br /><br />Yeah, that sounds good.<br /><br />[Heavy Sigh]<br /><br />You know what? I really don't know why I've stopped and restarted so many times in the past. And right now, I'm got a feeling that I'm on the verge of yet another epiphany...<br /><br />It just doesn't matter.<br /><br />Yeah, that sounds good.<br /><br />And right now, I also just realized that my latest epiphany was long ago immortalized by Bill Murray's character in the movie "Meatballs". He's obviously not the first person to utter those words. If I'm not mistaken, the first person to coin that phrase was some dude writing on a wall in a cave.<br /><br />It just doesn't matter.<br /><br />Now, I'm not saying nothing matters. Far from it. What I'm saying is that the past doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. The reason(s) I've stopped pursuing my dreams all of those times doesn't matter. All of that baggage and guilt and regret is useless.<br /><br />It just doesn't matter.<br /><br />The only thing that matters is this moment.<br /><br />Yeah, that sounds good.<br /><br />And in the immortal words of a wise man from thousands of years ago...<br /><br />"No duh".<br /><br />As trite as it sounds, it needs to be repeated...<br /><br />The only thing that matters is this moment.<br /><br />We humans keep making the same mistakes over and over again because we forget the simple stuff. And the simplest, truest concept of all is that we only have this moment. It's the only time we can ever do anything. Try as mightily as we want, and we can only do something _now_.<br /><br />The past is gone. We let it rattle around in our heads all the time, but in reality, it's gone. Letting the past drive our lives is like letting the wake drive the boat. The boat creates the wake. Not the other way around.<br /><br />The most important thing is to "be present". Stay "in the moment". Be conscious of the "eternal now".<br /><br />Ironically enough, I think staying in the moment is also the best way to stay on course for the long haul. It makes life more enjoyable. There's less chance of getting overwhelmed and frustrated when the past and future aren't being piled on top of the present moment.<br /><br />Yeah, that sounds good.Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-35894292444477056502010-04-09T22:43:00.000-07:002010-04-09T23:25:29.657-07:00To Tweet, or Not To Tweet... Is That a Question?I was having so much fun tweeting @CraigyFerg (Craig Ferguson), but now the fun has come to and end. That's okay. I'll surely find other fun things to do with my life. It's just that I was enjoying coming up with new Tweet ideas everyday, and it lit a fire under my ass to focus on doing what I really want to do, and...<br /><br />I'm going through a bit of a letdown.<br /><br />Not a major one. But a letdown, nonetheless.<br /><br />Funny how that little activity of conjuring up 140 characters (or less) per day was doing so much for my pysche. Seems silly when I write about it. Especially considering that all I was doing was spewing what turned out to be Twitter SPAM.<br /><br />At least, that's how some people saw it.<br /><br />I never thought about that aspect of it. I mean, Craig gets hundreds of Tweets every day. And some of his followers Tweet at him multiple times a day. Can me sending one carefully crafted (and sometimes maybe even clever and amusing) Tweet actually be considered SPAM?<br /><br />Well, the more I thought about it (after it was brought to my attention by one of the more active members of Craig's Robot Skeleton Army [RSA]), the more I realized that it was probably doing more harm than good. I'd started copying my Tweets to his staff members, too (oddly enough, at the advice of that same RSA spokesperson... odd because she told me I was SPAMming, but then advised me to Tweet at the Producers)... which, as I degrade into some strange combination of cascading punctuation in this paragraph... led me to the conclusion that I needed to stop.<br /><br />Yeah, I'm confused, too.<br /><br />Not only is my wording and punctuation awkward, so was that whole RSA interaction. I hadn't thought about the sub-culture of people out there who are so invested in a daily basis with the whole RSA mish-mash of interactive Tweet streams.<br /><br />I was just having fun with my little tweets.<br /><br />Little did I know I was being judged (and sometimes... BLOCKED! ... NO - not THAT!) by a subset of the RSA subculture.<br /><br />I've seen this before... on the Internet, and in real life.<br /><br />It's nothing new.<br /><br />It just hadn't dawned on me that I was in the same kind of realm as the dreaded (to me) message boards. There are people who live on the boards (and/or twitterville), and can have the tendency to behave as if they "own" the thing they're talking about. They feel like they're the authorities... much like the experience I had with the USC Football message boards a few years ago. It starts out innocently enough, with a bit of lurking, then a post here and there, followed by the inevitable drama that ensues when you unwittingly break one of the tribal rules.<br /><br />Anyway, I'm getting way too much into the psychology of the message boards and/or tweets. The bottom line is that I'm changing tactics. Even though part of me thinks "to heck with them"... it is their world, afterall. I can go back to being a fan of Craig and his show on my own terms, in my own living room, not being accused of being a SPAMmer, not being BLOCKED by the RSA elite... like I was up until a few weeks ago.<br /><br />Focus...<br /><br />The only reason I even started tweeting @CraigyFerg in the first place was because I just got a wild hair up my ass to do that one morning. And the next day I did it again... and then again the day after that... for fun... and hoping that Craig might actually notice... and respond. What I don't know is whether or not he even read any of my tweets. And if he did, whether or not he liked them, saw them as SPAM, or didn't give a rip one way or the other.<br /><br />Focus...<br /><br />I'll get there.<br /><br />Focus, I mean.<br /><br />Here tiz...<br /><br />I'm going back to approaching this the right way. And by "this" I'm talking about getting booked on the show. I sent an email to the Producer yesterday, and he responded this morning. Very nice of him to respond so quickly. Unfortunately, he's forwarded my email to a person I already emailed a couple of times in the past... and she never replied. I understand this is showbiz, where you don't normally get contacted when you don't get a gig. But I think this kind of inquiry should at least be acknowledged... as the Producer was kind enough to do today.<br /><br />Who knows, maybe it'll be different this time. Maybe getting my email forwarded from the Producer will lead to a response from the person who books the musical acts. We'll see.<br /><br />In the meantime, rambling this post is helping to shake me out of the post-tweet letdown I mentioned earlier. And another this is helping a lot, too...<br /><br />Playing my guitar, singing, working on songs... that's part of my "core self". And that's where it's all at. When the opportunity arises for me to pop my talk show cherry, I'll be ready.<br /><br />What am I saying... I _am_ ready.<br /><br />But you can never bee "too ready", right?<br /><br />The point is, practice makes perfect. And practice makes me feel good.<br /><br />And ain't that the whole point of all of "this"...<br /><br />Whatever "this" is?Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-5447916891624546662010-04-08T20:19:00.000-07:002010-04-08T20:49:59.972-07:00I'm The Only One That Can Occupy "My" Spot<em>"There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be ... it's easy." -- John Lennon</em><br /><br />Sometimes, a single thought can cut through all of the supposed complexity in the world. John had it nailed with that line. You can only be where you are, and that's where you're meant to be.<br /><br />It's easy.<br /><br />And it's connected to some thoughts that occurred to me yesterday...<br /><ul><li>I'm the only one that can occupy "my" spot.</li><li>I'm not in competition with anybody for "my" spot.</li><li>Nobody is taking "my" spot.</li><li>I'm not taking anybody else's spot.</li></ul>To reiterate and regurgitate...<br /><br />If it's truly "my" spot, I'm the only one that can have it. There's no competition for it. If it's mine, it's mine. Likewise, if it's yours, it's yours.<br /><br />It's easy.Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-66417055339980985812010-04-02T19:38:00.000-07:002010-04-02T21:22:01.878-07:00Tweeting @CraigyFerg to be a Musical Guest on His ShowCan I get a spot as a musical guest on "<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0437729/">The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson</a>" through a Twitter campaign... directed solely at <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0272401/">Craig Ferguson</a>?<br /><br />Stranger things have happened.<br /><br />Much stranger.<br /><br />Did you know there's a legit TV pilot being shot right now (starring <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000638/">William Shatner</a>), that's based on a guy's Twitter account (@<a href="http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays">shitmydadsays</a>)?<br /><br />With that in mind, here's what I'm doing...<br /><br />A couple of weeks ago, I sent the following tweet to Craig Ferguson (aka @<a class="tweet-url username" href="http://twitter.com/CraigyFerg" rel="nofollow" jquery1270262422203="55">CraigyFerg</a>)...<br /><br />-----------------------------------------<br /><strong>According to "The Aladdin Factor", if I simply ask, @CraigyFerg</strong><strong> will have me as a guest on his show! But what if Craig hasn't read the book?</strong><br />-----------------------------------------<br /><br />Okay, so it wasn't exactly sent _to_ him, but it did mention him. And when you mention somebody on Twitter, there's a chance they might see it. Considering the number of tweets containing @CraigyFerg on any given day, that chance may be slim... but it's a chance, nonetheless.<br /><br />When I sent that first tweet, I had no plan to send any more. It was just a thought I had that morning. Can't even remember what triggered it. Maybe nothing in particular triggered it.<br /><br />Does everything have to be "triggered"?<br /><br />Then something happened.<br /><br />I had the idea to post a tweet @CraigyFerg every day.<br /><br />That was at least partially triggered by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005277/">Conan O'Brien's</a> successful Twitter campaign that's led to him selling thousands of tickets for his "Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour".<br /><br />Granted, I don't have quite as many followers as Conan, so it's comparing apples to oranges. Or is it big-ass apples to tiny apples? Or millions of apples to a handful of apples?<br /><br />Whatever the case may be, it's not exactly a level playing field.<br /><br />And my "campaign" is not directed towards my followers. It's directed towards one person.<br /><br />Even though my "strategy" is a bit different from Conan's, and the odds of success are obviously a bit different as well, we're both dwelling in the same "market space". Yeah, I don't know what that means, either. I'm not much for suit-speak. It just came out, and I decided not to backspace.<br /><br />Point is... it's a whole new world. Conan (and other celebrities) can leverage off of millions of followers, directly contacting their fans, bypassing the gatekeepers and middlemen who once held a monopoly. And I can use the same communication pipeline to try and get the attention of a single celebrity (or one of his staffers).<br /><br />Screw the "odds". This ain't all about probabilities... measurable things... quantifiable things. There's something cool about having these connections happening, without regard to the odds.<br /><br />And there's already been some unexpected, unmeasurable byproducts to come out of these daily tweets (now at 16 consecutive days, by the way)...<br /><br />+ It's helping me focus.<br />+ It's inspiring me.<br />+ It's increased my interaction with my Facebook friends.<br /><br />Not only that, but I'm truly starting to believe... make that, I'm truly believing... that this will lead to a spot on Craig's show...<br /><br />Or something better.<br /><br />That last part is what I've learned through various self-help gurus (e.g., <a href="http://www.jackcanfield.com/">Jack Canfield</a>... author of the aforementioned "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Aladdin-Factor-Jack-Canfield/dp/0425150755/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1270266703&sr=8-1">The Aladdin Factor</a>", from my first tweet @CraigyFerg). They say that when you come up with affirmations, you should end with "or something better". It opens your mind to other possibilities. We don't always get what we're asking for, but the process of asking often leads us to something even better.<br /><br />I'm excited to find out where these daily tweets will take me... because I'm determined to keep tweeting until something happens. And then I guess I'll continue tweeting (or using whatever other communication channels open up in the future) until something else happens.<br /><br />Of course, there's more to life than tweeting. In between tweets, I'm getting back to the creative matters at hand... the things that make me happy... the things I can control... like, playing my guitar, singing, writing, reading...<br /><br />Speaking of reading...<br /><br />I just finished Craig Ferguson's book "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/American-on-Purpose-ebook/dp/B002OMZTSU/ref=kinw_dp_ke?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&qid=1270265290&sr=8-1">American on Purpose</a>". A lot of it hit close to home. For one thing, he wrote about getting to a point in his career where he started doing the creative things that he could control (e.g., writing a novel), because he was fed up with people shitting on his projects... when he even got so far as to get money from people to do projects. And he's not far removed from where I'm sitting right now... and where I was a few years ago. It wasn't that long ago that he went through divorce(s) and debts (see: me a few years ago), and wasn't getting much work in Hollywood (see: me... period).<br /><br />And this ties into the "or something better" thing from above...<br /><br />He got his first big-time role on <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111945/">The Drew Carey Show</a> after bombing on an audition for a different show. He wasn't even going to go to the audition (since it was a Hispanic role, and he's Scottish), but a friend encouraged him to go anyway. He said he did a terrible Hispanic accent, but a guy chased after him and asked him to audition for a different show... which turned out to be the pilot for Drew's show.<br /><br />I don't tell the story as well as Craig. I recommend buying his book if you're interested in being truly inspired.<br /><br />But the point is...<br /><br />"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans". -- John Lennon<br /><br />Craig Ferguson did not leave his home that day to audition for The Drew Carey Show, but that's the show he ended up being on for eight years. And, as he wrote in his book... it changed his life.<br /><br />A similar thing happened on the way to his late night talk show gig. It wasn't something he'd been pursuing. It just popped-up... and rather than me trying to regurgitate his story again like I did a couple of paragraphs ago, I'll once again encourage you to buy his book...<br /><br />As kiss-assy as it may sound.<br /><br />You know what? I don't care if it sounds kiss-assy. I just finished reading his book, and it was great. He's a really good writer, and his story inspired me. And one day, I hope to shake his hand and tell him that in person.<br /><br />In the meantime, I'll have to settle for my tweet-a-day regimen, hoping to get his attention, and get a spot as a musical guest on his show...<br /><br />Or something better.Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-46304771924082532702010-02-21T10:28:00.000-08:002010-02-21T12:01:53.593-08:00Rules for Hollywood? (2009 - Avatar & Paranormal Activity)It recently occurred to me that 2009 may have provided the two furthest ends of the spectrum in filmmaking success in a single year...<br /><br />"<a href="http://pro.imdb.com/title/tt0499549/">Avatar</a>" and "<a href="http://pro.imdb.com/title/tt1179904/">Paranormal Activity</a>".<br /><br />When you think about these two extremes, it's hard to believe that there are really any rules in Hollywood for what it takes to have a successful film.<br /><br />Okay, so this really isn't breaking news. "There are no rules in Hollywood." Fine. Thank you, Captain Obvious.<br /><br />All I'm saying is that 2009 may have been the best illustration of that fact.<br /><br />The budget for Paranormal Activity was somewhere in the neighborhood of $15k (yes, that's "k", as in "thousand"). The technology was primitive (at best). The director had no experience. Expectations were low (to say the least). Marketing was mainly via social networking (at least initially). The movie has grossed in the ballpark of $200 million.<br /><br />Not a bad ballpark for a $15k investment.<br /><br />The budget for Avatar was about $200 million. The technology was ground-breaking. The director had a lot of experience, including the previous all-time high-grossing film. Expectations were high (to say the least). Marketing was mainly "old school" (e.g., commercials and talk shows). The movie has grossed over $2 billion.<br /><br />Not quite the same return on investment as Paranormal Activity, but not too shabby.<br /><br />So, when I hear advice from various people in the industry saying, "You must [fill-in-the-blank]" or "You can't [fill-in-the-blank]"... I have a hard time taking any of this advice at face value. What they're saying me have been true for them at one time in their careers, and it may be true again.<br /><br />Or it may not.<br /><br />It's like Newton's Law of Hollywood...<br /><br />"For every piece of advice, there's an equal and opposite piece of advice."<br /><br />That's not to say nobody knows what they're talking about. Experience should count for something, right?<br /><br />Maybe.<br /><br />But how much (if any) does experience matter?<br /><br />On the one hand, a film (or writer, director, actor, etc.) can have tons of experience, and be involved in a flop. On the other hand, a newcomer can skyrocket to the top.<br /><br />I didn't intend to rhyme. That was an accident.<br /><br />Like much of what happens in Hollywood.<br /><br />There are some people who have great track records, producing more hits than misses... but nobody's batting 100%. Nobody has this thing totally figured out. The big studios produce some garbage, and the indie world creates some masterpieces.<br /><br />Speaking of indies...<br /><br />I've read some articles about death of indie filmmaking. They go on and on about the details of how the funding sources and distribution channels have dried up in recent years, and therefore it has become harder for indie filmmakers to survive. While I can't argue these facts (not being an indie filmmaker myself, I don't know enough to say if it's true or not), I have a hard time buying it as an overarching generality.<br /><br />Or, put another way...<br /><br />Did you hear the one about "Paranormal Activity"?<br /><br />Distribution channels and funding sources may be changing, but come on... who really understood those things in the first place? And I'm not just saying this out of my own personal ignorance. There's a story about some college professors who traveled West in an attempt to map out the economics of Hollywood...<br /><br />And traveled back East even more bewildered than when they'd arrived.<br /><br /><fill-in-the-blank><fill-in-the-blank>There may... I repeat, MAY... be some rules to follow in order to be successful in "THE INDUSTRY". But the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that it's just a lot of free-wheeling poker playing.<br /><br />To me, that's encouraging.<br /><br />If nobody REALLY knows what's going on, then people down here at my level know about as much as everybody else.<br /></fill-in-the-blank></fill-in-the-blank>Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-12405925043025677602009-10-18T09:52:00.000-07:002009-10-26T14:50:59.439-07:00"Paranormal Activity" -- A Coin Flip from StardomOkay, maybe not "stardom". But these days, when the words "star" and "celebrity" have become so watered-down, let's run with it...<br /><br />The point is, I had a 50-50 chance to be in a movie called "Paranormal Activity". This movie recently became a huge cult hit. And judging by the latest box office numbers, has now been elevated from "cult" to "mainstream" hit.<br /><br />(Am I using too many "quotes"?)<br /><br />Whether or not I'm using too many quotes, and whether or not it's cult or mainstream, and whether or not I should be using the word "stardom", here's how I fit-in to this story (as originally posted in response to a fellow actor's comment on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Facebook</span>)...<br /><br /><em>---<br />Trivia... I got a callback for the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">demonologist</span> role in "Paranormal Activity". The director said it was down to me and one other guy. Basically... a coin flip. Heads, you're part of a surprise rag-to-riches cult hit story. Tails, you're posting a comment on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Facebook</span>. <sigh><br />---<br /></em><br />So, that's the story in a nutshell. And because of that bit of behind-the-scenes movie trivia, for days now, I've been tripping out (he said, showing his age) on how close I came to having my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">IMDb</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">STARmeter</span> ranking move from 755,201 to 6,758 (the true sign of success in Hollywood these days).<br /><br />Of course, I had no way of knowing at the time that the ultra low budget movie I auditioned for would become the runaway rags-to-riches hit movie that it's become. And that's part of what's tripping me out...<br /><br />We never know.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">That's</span> nothing new.<br /><br />We just never know.<br /><br />Seemingly little things become huge. But we don't know which ones will launch, and which ones will languish. At this very moment, and at every moment, there are countless opportunities to be in ultra low budget films. Most will lead to nothing. A few will lead to other opportunities. And very few, like "Paranormal Activity", will explode beyond <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">anybody's</span> wildest dreams.<br /><br />I'm both discouraged and encouraged by my "so close yet so far" relationship to this movie. Discouraged because I'm not currently part of this blockbuster hit. Encouraged because I am "in the game".<br /><br />Like all other actors slugging and slogging away at this business, I'm always one audition away from something big. The difference this time is that I know how close I came. Many times, we have no way of knowing. When we submit to something, we have no way of knowing if the project will amount to anything. When we audition, and don't get the part, we don't know if we were runner-up, or at the bottom of the pile. And we don't know why we weren't selected. Sometimes, it's a "look". You don't look like the image the director had in his head, or you don't look like a person who's already been cast in another role as a family member. Sometimes, it's talent. Another actor <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">auditioned</span> better than you. Sometimes, it's the gut feeling of the people selecting for the part. Sometimes, it's totally random... like, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">eenie</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">meenie</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">mynie</span>-mo. Literally. My acting teacher has a story about that.<br /><br />There are so many factors involved.<br /><br />And there are also times when we don't even know what happened to the projects we auditioned for. For instance, when I auditioned for this film, it was just another "UNTITLED FEATURE". It's just a fluke that I recently connected the dots, and realized that the callback I got was for the movie that eventually became "Paranormal Activity".<br /><br />And the callback was in the same house (belonging to director Oren Peli) that was used as the sole location for shooting the film! When I first saw the trailer, I thought, "That place looks really familiar". I was in the house that's now a part of the folklore. Once again...<br /><br />So close, yet so far.<br /><br />So, as I search for an ending to this blog post, I'm choosing to focus on the "upside". I'm choosing to feed off of the fact that I'm "in the game". I'm leaning towards "encouraged".<br /><br />And I'm also leaning towards continuing to use "quotes" whenever I damn well please.Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-36516944626102792852009-04-24T16:38:00.000-07:002009-04-24T16:51:26.305-07:00Twitter Me ThisSo, the latest explosion in social networking is happening on <a href="http://twitter.com/">Twitter</a>.<div><br /></div><div>Happening "to" Twitter?</div><div><br /></div><div>"With" Twitter?<br /><br />Whatever qualifying word is used, it's happening.<br /><br />It's not that Twitter just started. It's been around for a couple of years. But at some point in the not-so-distant past, it reached the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Tipping-Point-Little-Things-Difference/dp/0316346624/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240616426&sr=8-1">Tipping Point</a>. And in the very recent past, there was a battle between <a href="http://twitter.com/aplusk">Ashton Kutcher</a> and <a href="http://twitter.com/cnnbrk">CNN</a> to be the first to reach a million followers (Ashton won), followed in the same week by <a href="http://twitter.com/oprah">Oprah</a> signing up for a Twitter account (and posting her first Tweet on her show... which also featured Ashton Kutcher).</div><div><br /></div><div>When we look back on these days, we'll either say, "Oh, I remember Twitter" or "Yeah, I remember when Twitter first became big... and look how much it's in our lives now".</div><div><br /></div><div>In any event, whether the future is Twitterless or Twitterful, surely there will be many more methods for connecting in many more ways in the future.</div><div><br /></div><div>And <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080339/quotes">stop calling me Shirley</a>.</div>Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-82150319785531208892009-04-01T17:42:00.000-07:002009-04-04T14:52:16.870-07:00Some Thoughts About Improv...My boss just left for the day, and on the way out, he was making some comments about not staying too late, leaving some work for tomorrow, don't let her (one of my co-workers) stay too late.<br /><br />I replied with something about clipping his heels, not staying too much longer, will probably be gone before her.<br /><br />She replied that she'd be leaving soon because she got here early this morning.<br /><br />We all shared a laugh or two, and then he left.<br /><br />My point?<br /><br />Don't worry. I'll get there...<br /><br />Eventually.<br /><br />The little exchange mentioned above connected with something fresh in my mind. It was an exercise we did in acting class last night, where we had to do improv before and after the scripted portion of our scene. And the thing about telling people to do improv is that we tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have every line be something clever.<br /><br />Guess what?<br /><br />Most of life does not consist of us stringing together a bunch of clever sayings.<br /><br />So maybe with that thought in mind, I'll put a little less pressure on myself the next time we do improv in acting class.<br /><br />It's not that I put a huge amount of pressure on myself. It's just that thinking back, I know that a portion of my thoughts were occupied by the actor part of my brain, which is generally focused on thinking of something clever to say... as opposed to just being in the moment... looking around... twiddling your thumbs, etc.<br /><br />In the real world, there's also a lot of silence... in addition to the not-so-clever stuff we say.<br /><br />So...<br /><br />Remember that the next time you're doing improv, okay? And pay more attention to that in daily life... since that's what we're trying to recreate on stage and in front of the camera.<br /><br />Nothing new here.<br /><br />I've been trying to do that for some time.<br /><br />But this little message is about not trying so hard. And it's about not continually staring into the eyes of your partner. Hmmm... I guess I wasn't doing that all the time last night. I recall playing with some papers that were sitting on the table at one point. So I wasn't totally acting like an actor.<br /><br />But still, it really hit me when I heard the little "random" exchange of small-talk as my boss left that communicating is really just about connecting... even with little tidbits of trivial stuff. And it's about being awkward, and tripping over our tongues, and being comfortable with silence...<br /><br />Or not.<br /><br />I mean, we're not always comfortable with silence in life, right?<br /><br />But in improv, we tend to have a lot less of it. We need more silence in improv. And in scripted stuff. Not to bring things to a total crawl, mind you. But in real life, we don't always go "my line... your line... my line... your line" with no breaks in between. And we also interrupt each other. And...<br /><br />Now I'm getting way to far off of the point. I didn't mean to get into a bunch of points about acting. I really just wanted to make one point...<br /><br />Bottom Line (for now): Stop trying to be so clever. Just "be".<br /><br />And, as is usually the case, the lessons I'm learning about acting are good words to live by in the real world, too.<br /><br />Later...Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-84958882897286859262008-12-03T10:00:00.000-08:002008-12-16T22:39:37.010-08:00Jack Canfield Monthly Phone CallInterviewer: Alex Mondosian (sp?)<br /><br />===========================<br />=== N O T E S ===<br />===========================<br /><br />+ Bad economy: Can see it with fear, or as a chance for opportunity.<br />+ Holdays: Focus on what's important. Not necessarily money.<br /> + Can be giving your "presence" in addition to "presents".<br />+ Question: How do you get rid of fear?<br /> + F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real,<br /> Future Events Appearing Real,<br /> Forget Everything And Run<br /> + Rather than thinking about catastrophe, assume things will turn out well.<br /> No fear.<br /> + Exercise: Top of a skyscraper, on the edge, no railing. Most people<br /> will assume the worst, and physically feel fear. If you believe you<br /> can fly, you will have no fear, and imagine zooming around, landing<br /> on a beautiful island, etc.<br /> + Exercise: Make a list of things "I'm afraid to...". After the list is<br /> done, change the beginning to "I'd really like to, but I scare myself<br /> into believing...". Replace fear of fantasy with positive outcome<br /> fantasy. Then come up with a solution to get your ideal situation.<br /> + Another solution... stay in the present. Rather than going into the<br /> future with positive or negative fantasies, ground yourself in the moment.<br /> + "Self confidence is the result of surviving a risk." Feel the fear, and<br /> do it anyway.<br /> + emofree.com => tapping technique for releasing fear.<br />+ Question: Most important principles in this economic downturn...<br /> + Decide what you want. Okay to think (a little) about what you don't want.<br /> But focus most of your attention on what you _DO_ want.<br /> + Challenge from Bob Proctor: Double your income in the next year.<br /> + Believe it's possible.<br /> + Stay focused.<br /> + Take action.<br /> + A lot of people get paralyzed by fear. Instead, make an action plan,<br /> and break it down into action steps.<br /> + Answer the question "What's the greatest weakness I must overcome<br /> to get what I want?"<br /> + Commit to constant and never-ending improvement.<br /> + Tighten all personal disciplines.<br /> + Find out what's needed by the people you serve, and provide what they need.<br /> + Keep focused on the vision.<br /> + 80/20 Rule: Determine what that 20% is that needs to be done to succeed.<br /> + REMINDER: Principle #1 = Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life<br />+ Question: Energy (how do you get more?)<br /> + "Your level of energy determines the quality of your life."<br /> + Sleep well.<br /> + Eat well.<br /> + Simple step... drink more water.<br /> + Exercise: Yogi breathing... 4 or 5 yogi breaths.<br /> Yogi breath = Inhale 8 counts, Exhale 16 counts.<br />+ Question: How do you please others and stay true to yourself all the time?<br /> + Answer: You don't.<br /> + But the good news is that you'll please a lot of people while being true<br /> to yourself. The ones you don't please... forget about it. Even when<br /> you're not being true to yourself, people won't be pleased. So, which<br /> option is best? Duh.<br /> + When people are upset with you... it's just noise.<br /> + Following your own joy is the way to attract the people and things you<br /> need. You can't please everybody.<br /> + Exercise: For an entire week... do only what you want to do, for 16 hours<br /> a day, 7 days a week. See what happens. You'll discover how many things<br /> you're doing to please other people, and perhaps also how many more things<br /> you will do for yourself that are also the best for those you love and<br /> for the world.<br /> + This is for me, it's not against you, I'm just taking care of what I need to do.<br /> + Express yourself: What you want to express is coming up and trying to get out.<br /> When you don't express it someway, that energy ferments itself in your body,<br /> and becomes dis-ease.<br />+ Question: How do you determine what your services are worth?<br /> + Nobody knows what anything is worth.<br /> + You get what you think you're worth (or, better put, what you think you're<br /> worth + what you ask for + what people are willing to pay).<br /> + Determine bottom and top (e.g., bottom = minimum I'm willing to leave my house for,<br /> top = what I believe I'm worth when compared to others in the industry).<br /> + Example: A couple of therapists in La Jolla kept raising their fee by $25/hr<br /> every month until people said, "Don't you think that's a bit much?"<br /> + Example: A musician had the idea that he wanted to work half as much, so he<br /> doubled his fee and worked half as much.<br /> + Recommendation: Base fee on value rather than time.<br /> + Example: In his early days, Jack charged a daily fee (e.g., $3,000 / day).<br /> A friend suggested charging a per person fee. When he did that, he wound<br /> up making $20,000 / day.<br /> + Personal Example: Voiceover job for BigRock Studios. I agreed to an hourly<br /> rate, and actually got "punished" for doing a good job. That is, it took<br /> me 1 hour instead of 2. Had I agreed to a fixed price instead, or perhaps<br /> a cost per minute of output, I would have made more money. Time was<br /> irrelevant in this case.<br />+ Question: What self-esteem techniques or exercises for woman who's been raped or abused?<br /> + Answer: Complete the past to embrace the future.<br /> + "Total Truth Process".<br /> + Exercise: Release anger by banging a tennis racket against couch/bed/etc., while<br /> yeling what's making you angry (e.g., "I'm angry that you made me feel powerless").<br /> + Answer the question, "Is there something you did that contributed to this?" (e.g.,<br /> drinking too much and things got out of hand).<br /> + Release... however you get around to it, through the various stages, you eventually<br /> have to release all of the baggage to get on with your life in a normal way.<br /> + If you keep beating yourself up over and over again by reliving the trauma, you're<br /> doing more damage that the original perpetrators.<br />+ Closing Thoughts (from Jack and myself)...<br /> + Remember that money is only one facet of your life. There are so many things to<br /> work on and appreciate that don't involve money. Sure, if you want more money...<br /> you can have that, too. But don't let it consume you. The money will come.<br /> Do what you love, do it with all of your heart, and the money will come.<br /> But make sure to not let money control you and your situation. Live. Love.Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-81157473231844638732008-08-10T11:07:00.000-07:002008-08-10T11:31:46.944-07:00Now on iTunes!<div align="center"><br /><a href="http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?i=287193973&id=287193924&s=143441"><img height="44" alt="Joe Palen - Subject to Change" src="http://palen.com/joe/musician/images/banners/iTunes_logo_001.jpg" width="150" /></a><br /></div><br />There's something special about being on iTunes. Yeah, I know there are thousands of musicians there already. And I'm not expecting to be a featured artist anytime soon. But that doesn't matter. This is iTunes we're talking about. It's special. I'm not going to try explaining it. All I know is that the first time I did a search and found myself there (only a couple of days ago), I got choked up. No exaggeration. While listening to the preview samples of my songs, I was brought to tears. Seeing my CD cover art, hearing the songs I've been mostly keeping to myself for all these years, and seeing the other artists linked to me by the "Listeners Also Bought" feature on the bottom of the screen... well, it all just washed over me in an overwhelming wave of emotion. There's no telling how many people will stumble into my songs while randomly roaming through the vast iTunes music library. But I do know one thing. There's a hell of a lot better chance of them finding me now than a couple of days ago. And an infinitely greater chance than a year ago... when all of my songs were stashed away in a bag in my closet.Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-27386731869092759682008-08-10T11:05:00.000-07:002008-08-10T11:34:23.922-07:00Everybody Has An Audience (Yeah, I’m Talking to You!)I've come to believe that everybody has an audience...<br /><br />No matter what your craft might be.<br /><br />It can be music, comedy, films... quilting, knitting, macrame... horse training, dog grooming, cat juggling...<br /><br />Everybody has an audience.<br /><br />You've just got to risk putting yourself out there...<br /><br />Again and again...<br /><br />And again...<br /><br />And again.<br /><br />Everybody has an audience.<br /><br />It's a simple matter of mathematics.<br /><br />I mean, there are over six billion people on the planet. And they're all looking for _something_.<br /><br />Chances are, a lot of them are looking for you.<br /><br />Not convinced? Then think about this...<br /><br />You're on stage in a room with a hundred people in it. Do you think _one_ of those people would enjoy the results of your craft?<br /><br />Just one in a hundred?<br /><br />That's a real small percentage, isn't it? Just 1%, according to my calculations.<br /><br />Well, that small percentage equates to 60 million people in the world.<br /><br />I don't know about you, but I'd be pretty happy with an audience of that size.<br /><br />In fact, I'd settle for half of that...<br /><br />Which is only 1 in 200 people...<br /><br />Or half of a person in 100...<br /><br />But I digress...<br /><br />Frequently.<br /><br />The point is, you don't have to please everybody. In fact, you don't even have to please most people. Even pleasing 1% can lead to a pretty big audience...<br /><br />If you put yourself out there enough.<br /><br />So, don't get caught in the trap of "why would anybody be interested in what I do?". I'm speaking from experience. I was caught in that trap for years...<br /><br />Got the scars to prove it.<br /><br />Fresh scars.<br /><br />I've only recently pulled myself out of that trap, and am finally starting to believe that maybe...<br /><br />Just maybe...<br /><br />Some of the six billion people strewn around this planet of ours might just enjoy whatever it is I'm putting out there.<br /><br />It's not ego...<br /><br />It's mathematics.<br /><br />Sure, there's going to be a lot of people who don't like what you do. That's fine. They're just not "your people".<br /><br />Don't worry about them. They're looking for somebody else. Don't take it personally.<br /><br />In the meantime, your audience is looking for you.<br /><br />Your audience is out there, somewhere, just dying to meet you.<br /><br />And you're going to find that audience. Or, better yet, your audience is going to find you.<br /><br />Everybody has an audience.Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-41447556527510729582008-06-21T10:36:00.000-07:002008-06-21T10:46:43.176-07:00Music Anyone? (My Solo Debut)Over thirty years in the making! Okay, so I haven't actually been working on it for thirty years, but I wrote some of the songs when I was a teenager. So technically, this project has been brewing for over 30 years.<br /><br />Any day now, I'll finally be pushing this long-awaited debut over the goal-line by finishing the CD cover art... and officially releasing it into the wild (with the help of CD Baby, emusic, iTunes, MSN Music, MusicMatch, Napster, Rhapsody... etc., etc., etc.).<br /><br />In the meantime, please check out the samples... and if you like any of them, I'd appreciate it if you'd help get the ball rolling by dropping some coins in the jukebox (so to speak)...<br /><br /><embed style="BACKGROUND: url(http://void.snocap.com/b/T3-31324-R3NFP327CU-G/)" src="http://void.snocap.com/s/T3-31324-R3NFP327CU-G/" width="425" height="300" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent"></embed>Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-60398512769302732372007-06-10T15:36:00.000-07:002007-06-10T15:43:43.832-07:00My First National TV Spot!This week, my national TV debut aired on Court TV (June 7 was the initial airing). It's a crime re-enactment show called "North Mission Road". My role is Detective Crowley.<br /><br />Here's a link to a preview...<br /><br /><a href="http://www.courttv.com/onair/shows/north_mission_road/157.html">http://www.courttv.com/onair/shows/north_mission_road/157.html</a><br /><br />Whether or not they keep that link in their archives for historical purposes, at least it's something you can look at in 2007.<br /><br />It's my first screen credit in a nationally-televised show, and my name is even spelled correctly in the credits!<br /><br />The feeling I'm having right now is one of controlled enthusiasm. I'm not spiking the ball in the end zone and doing a victory dance. Does the phrase "act like you've been there before" ring a bell? Even though I haven't been there before, I want to act that way.<br /><br />This is just the beginning...<br /><br />Or the middle...<br /><br />In any event, I'm happy. And looking forward to the next milestone.<br /><br /> Joe "Enjoying the Ride" PalenJoe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8919892.post-63903160895780050112007-06-06T02:06:00.001-07:002007-06-06T02:06:50.182-07:00My First National TV Acting Gig!I'm on CourtTV this week, playing a detective on "North Mission Road".<br /><br />There's an online preview <a href="http://www.courttv.com/onair/shows/north_mission_road/157.html">here</a>.<br /><br />Check your local listings for showtimes.Joe Palenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727036215792432765noreply@blogger.com1