It's been a week since the Last Comic Standing audition, and I'm looking forward to getting up on stage in front of real people for the first time since that infamous day. Okay, maybe not "infamous". Then again, maybe "infamous" is an accurate description.
How many times can I flip-flop in a single paragraph?
Tonight, I'll be doing one of my rare San Diego performances. Co-workers might show up for this one (since it's within the same hemisphere as our job), which is a double-edged sword. After all of these years, it shouldn't make a difference... but it does. So maybe I should leave the word "shouldn't" out of the mix? I mean, what we feel is what we feel. Who's to say what we "should" and "shouldn't" feel?
The double-edged sword has to do with the fact that they've seen my act, so there's not that element of surprise that a lot of comedy relies on. But the other edge of the sword is that they are my friends, so will likely be friendly. "They like me... they really like me." The third edge (that's a strange sword?!) is that if I suck, I have to face them the next day.
But all-in-all, it's good to have friends, isn't it? And chances are, I'm not going to totally suck (how's _that_ for confidence?!). It's just that, well, you never know... you know? If this were a slam-dunk, where'd the thrill be? It's the uncertainty that gets the heart pumping.
After all is said and done, much more is said than is done.
(I think that's a paraphrase of a quote I heard... so as not to be a plagiarist.)
After all is said and done, it'll be nice to get back on the horse. I could have done it last week, on the same evening as the audition. But in reality, I couldn't have, because I didn't.
If I'd had the energy, and didn't think I'd die in an accident on the way home, I'd have gone up that evening. Fact is, I didn't have the energy, and went home. And another fact is, this is probably the better way to get back in the saddle... by going up in front of some friends, and hopefully some non-comic strangers. Had I gone up the same evening as the audition, it would have been in front of mostly comics... who've seen me week after week for nearly a year. That's okay for working-out and developing new material, but probably wouldn't have served as much of a confidence booster after 13 hours waiting in line for my less-than-stellar moment-in-the-sun.
Mmmmyeah... I think this way is better.
In any event, it's the way I've chosen.