Centered... Mostly

I've gone up twice at the Hollywood Improv since my last blog post. Right now, I'm thinking it would have been nice if I'd blogged immediately following the performances. Oh, well. Can't go back and change that. So instead, I'll work backwards from the present...

Right now, today... I'm disappointed. As much as my attitude has been "centered" and focused in recent weeks, finding out that I won't be performing in the "Improv Booking Showcase" tomorrow night put a little damper on my mood.

Okay, a big damper.

Maybe a medium one.

This past Tuesday, I had as good a set as I've had at the Improv Jams. And in my opinion, I've crawled my way out from under the bottom of the pack. I left there thinking I had a damn good chance for a call-back... EVEN THOUGH I KEPT REMINDING MYSELF THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS, WHERE I FIT-IN, ETC.

Okay, so the good news is that I was able to call-in for a spot for the first time. Matt Komen was kind enought to send my name to Reeta, and I got put on the list at #10... without having to go through the usual cattle-call lineup/scramble to sign-up.

And the good news from the week before is that I once again had a good set... with different material than I used this week. I thought that might count for something. Maybe it did, or maybe it didn't. Who knows. Just because I didn't get into the showcase doesn't mean Reeta isn't tracking the material I'm using. She was there during both sets, keeping notes (as she was doing for all of the other acts).

It's a little bit of a rollercoaster ride of emotions, but not a drastic one. Yeah, I'm disappointed. But no, I'm not discouraged. There's a big difference.

Deep down inside, I finally believe that I belong on this path. I belong at the Improv. And eventually, someone else will agree.

I don't want the positive gains I've made in my attitude to get buried beneath today's "setback". Strike that. It isn't a "setback". Just another test. Many more tests will come and go. That's the nature of the biz. And many, many people will come and go.

As for me, I'm enjoying the journey more than ever. It's all connected: family, day job, Hollywood. And lately, I've been fortunate enough to be in tune with the energy inside of me... able to recognize tension, and release it. Let the energy flow. It's helped my sets at the Improv, my singing at home, playing with the kids, solving problems at work.

It's all connected.

So, message to self...

Don't let one little thing like "not getting a showcase" destroy all of the enlightenment you've been feeling. Continue to be good. Continue to believe.

And don't forget to breathe.